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The Journals of Barnabas Collins

Dear Francois,

If what I have witnessed in the actions of one Joshua Collins are representative of the robustness and independence of the American mind, the nation will fall within a fortnight.  At that point, I would normally advise invasion, but no amount of natural bounty can compensate for the rank idiocy and gibbering indulgence of a Reverend Trask and a populace who entertains him.

It is clear to me now why the good Doctor Franklin spends so much time in Paris.  Were I he, I’d never exit the gondola.  Even the nuisance of popery is like an evening in a seraglio compared to what I’ve found in this wretched land.

I look forward to your wisdom again, and so I leave you with a hearty…

HELLFIRE!

Andre

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